Seeing Jet Li and Jackie Chan in one poster almost made me go into a seizure. The fact that Jet Li was in period clothing — something I had not seen since his Once Upon A Time In China days — made the seizure go up a notch.

I decided right there and then that I was going to see this film, even though I had set myself up for disappointment. The movie was about a Kung Fu obsessed American teenager, after all. I was very sure that if they were going to make this into something like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon meets The Last Samurai, it was bound to fail. Then again, I’ve always been a sucker for great action scenes, bad story lines notwithstanding. Why else was I highly entertained by Street Fighter II Movie and Naked Weapon (starring Maggie Q)?

I was pleasantly surprised to find that despite the seriousness of the premise — it is loosely based on the Chinese classic Journey to the West (西遊記) — Chan and Li provided much hilarity. Putting them in one motion picture was a stroke of genius! Who would’ve guessed that they’d have excellent chemistry? The treatment was light-hearted, fast-paced and action-packed. I wished the choreography could’ve been smoother, but hey, I may never get to see Chan and Li together again.

Sure, there were a few scenes that made me cringe, like that feeble attempt at a romantic angle between the accidental hero Jason (played by Michael Angarano) and the token female martial artist Golden Sparrow (beautiful Liu Yifei). I was mentally screaming, “She’s so out of your league!” The stunning presence of the whip wielding, platinum-haired Witch (gorgeous Li Bing Bing) more than made up for these, though.

Don’t expect anything heavy from this one. I’d call this a vacation movie. It’s fun. Let’s leave it at that.

I’m sorry, Natalie Portman. I love you but…

I think I would’ve enjoyed this movie more had I not grown up addicted to the lives of Henry VIII’s wives. The Other Boleyn Girl is 10% fact, 70% fiction, and 20% opinion. Try as I might, I couldn’t bring myself NOT to turn to Elena or Cham (my companions) for my whispered vocal footnotes.

I can’t even begin to enumerate how wonky the story was if compared with real history. It totally belonged to an alternate dimension.

I suppose it could be considered a good fanfic, with Mary Boleyn as its heroine. But if you want a well-depicted period piece, you’ll find that Henry VIII (starring Ray Winstone, Emily Blunt and Helena Bonham Carter) is a lot more (but not exactly) accurate despite its exaggerated romanticism.

At the end of the movie, Elena and Cham mentioned Troy. Don’t even get me started on that…

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street is a comedy/horror/gore-filled musical that was directed by Tim Burton.

That sentence already tells so much about what to expect from this movie. For those who aren’t familiar with Tim Burton’s works, the following adjectives should suffice: dark, disturbing, highly entertaining. It’s so dark that when you go out of the theater, you’d be surprised to find that the sun is still up. It’s so disturbing that I had to cover my eyes a couple of times. It’s highly entertaining because despite the gore — lots of slashed throats in there — you just can’t wait for what happens next. I swear, I will never look at meat pies the same way ever again.

Kudos to Johnny Depp, Alan Rickman and Helena Bonham Carter for such stellar performances! The only thing I could have wished for is for another person to sing for Ms. Bonham Carter because whenever she hits the high notes, I could not make a word out of what she’s singing. Other than that, I love her!

When Nicco and I finished the movie, he asked me what I thought of it. The guy’s a Johnny Depp fan, so even though I was exhausted from a draining week, I managed to reply with: “I find it absolutely romantic.”

He stared at me for a long time before saying, “That’s it. You really were meant for me. No other woman could have said that.”

Yes. Go ahead and laugh.

It was actually the movie trailer that caught my attention. I was amazed at how crisp and clear everything was. The combination of the real and CG objects looked totally seamless and I just had to wonder what technology the producers were using to come up with such effective lighting. Must be the pork barrel talking. Heh.

Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t delude myself into thinking that Filipino movies would improve their storytelling. I knew that I was going to see something that would look great but feel like crap. Our mainstream films aren’t really known for their profundity. Well…

It’s really more of a hit or miss in many aspects. Let me just enumerate:

1. I was shocked that the scenes from the trailer that got me into buying that ticket did not look as well-lighted in the actual movie. The crispness just wasn’t there anymore. Still, there were scenes that actually looked great, especially the ones that resemble the dessert areas of Final Fantasy XII and the ones that were shot inside the villains’ headquarters. Like I said, it’s a hit or miss. Most of the time, though, you just wish Bong Revilla would get off the frame so you can drool at the mechs.

2. Beveled text outlined with outer glow should not have a place in any scene that shows rapid movement. Oh, wait. Beveled text outlined with outer glow should not have a place in any frame, period. They used these for the opening credits when they could’ve just used the elegant but sci-fi-looking typefaces of the end credits.

3. There are so many actors in there that you can hardly keep track of anyone, resulting in very little character development. (The hilarious thing here is that the villains instantly know who Crisval and Angelo are among the many armor-clad dudes in the camp just by looking at them.) This overpopulation also results in funny blocking, like they were lined up and ready to be shot. Fuego! In relation to blocking complaints, I wonder when we’ll ever get rid of scenes where one person goes to the front and talks to the person behind her without looking back. Do we talk like this in real life?

4. Too much drama. With very little character development, I couldn’t care less what happened to the people. I came here to watch 3D mechs blast each other to pieces, not see Bong Revilla romance Jennylin Mercado. Ew! Honestly, their scenes together made my skin crawl.

5. The musical scoring is amazing! Many of the BGMs are so good, you’d feel goosebumps rising. What the movie lacks in foreshadowing, the music makes up for. This is one of Resiklo’s strongest points…up until the ending where they got someone to sing a ballad that sounded awfully like something out of a GMA/ABS-CBN Christmas commercial. Please, people. This is an action movie. Can we keep the cheese in our hamburgers and off the screen? I thought songs like these were left back in the 80s Regal flicks!

6. The armors looked pretty useless. Yes, get plates to cover your chests, wrists and shoulders but keep your solar plexus, abdomens and groins vulnerable to attack. Didn’t even see them ever use their textured wrist bands to defend themselves or bash someone’s head in.

7. Some of the actors are either acting for theater or TV, forgetting that they’re supposed to be on the big screen. Come on, I’ve seen Multimedia Arts students hire no-name actors and those no-name actors could perform so much better for so much less the amount the actors here were obviously paid. On the other hand, I did see some decent acting in Resiklo but like I said, I couldn’t keep track of the people in there.

8. Many of the elements were obviously inspired by Star Wars, Final Fantasy (I can even identify who Aeris, Tifa, Rinoa and Quistis are), Prince of Persia, Front Mission, Transformers, Aliens, Predator, Mech Warrior, The Matrix, among others. That’s well and good. But we don’t really have to rip everything off and just dump them altogether in one package, do we?

9. If you’re going to make mechs the main attraction for your movie, well…be prepared to show mechs in action. I only saw them for like 1/4th of the movie.

10. Remember Morpheus’ tiresome monologue in The Matrix Reloaded? Remember the critics’ and reviewers’ reaction to that? I guess the scriptwriter forgot, since Bong Revilla attempted to re-enact that even though he’s not nearly as charismatic as Laurence Fishburne.

11. The action scenes remind me of those old G.I. Joe cartoons where the enemies shoot at the Joes repeatedly but the Joes never get hit. Resiklo brought it a notch higher. The heroes would stand in the middle of crossfire while the enemies would hide behind drums and yet the enemies get hit while the heroes remain unharmed. This gets even more amusing when you see Bong Revilla hanging from a rope right in the middle of crossfire and doesn’t get so much as a scratch!

12. The characters’ names are very original. [/sarcasm] I wonder if they took a page off Terry Goodkind’s series and thought it was all right to name a sci-fi/fantasy character Bianca.

Wow. I narrowed everything down to 12. I could swear I had a side comment for every scene. (”Yes, stop for a bit before escaping so that you can listen to two men recount their life story. I’m sure the villains will wait for you to finish your session before figuring out that you’re trying to escape.”)

In all fairness, however, we really have improved by leaps and bounds when it comes to lighting techniques. I’ve got to hand it to that group. Resiklo’s CGs don’t look as awkward as those used by the other film fest entries.

Many fantasy stories begin with a seemingly ordinary man embarking on an extraordinary mission and Terry Goodkind’s Sword of Truth is no different. We have Richard Cypher, a regular forest ranger, who begins his quest when his father is brutally murdered by a powerful wizard. In his journey, he meets the exquisite Kahlan Amnell, his future life partner, and together they experience tales upon tales of sorcery, mythical beasts, and magical boundaries…for Richard is named the Seeker, the one who is destined to hold the Sword of Truth. As such, he struggles with the responsibility of bringing order in a world that’s about to be engulfed in darkness.

Richard and Kahlan’s epic story spans eleven novels, namely:

1. Wizard’s First Rule
2. Stone of Tears
3. Blood of the Fold
4. Temple of the Winds
5. Soul of the Fire
6. Faith of the Fallen
7. The Pillars of Creation
8. Naked Empire (portion of the cover scanned here)
9. Chainfire
10. Phantom
11. Confessor

I had just received Confessor as a Christmas gift and I must say that I liked how the story ended. But before that, I would like to warn anyone who wishes to try this series that the first book is a trap. It leads you to read the second book, then the third, then the fourth…until you have already so helplessly entangled yourself in the lives of Richard and Kahlan that you’d find yourself forced to finish the series.

Ironically, Wizard’s First Rule can stand pretty much on its own. Besides Richard and Kahlan, it introduces a bevy of highly intriguing characters like the powerful First Wizard Zorander, the Sorceress Adie, the feisty red dragon named Scarlet, the smart child Rachel and the Witch Woman Shota. Wizard’s First Rule is probably the most action-packed of the entire series, as the plot is complete with all the necessary elements required in a movie trilogy. It even has the perfect ending. Who’s not to say that Goodkind didn’t intend for it to be a series initially?

The sequel, Stone of Tears, is equally riveting. Goodkind introduces more interesting characters like the beast Gratch, the thousand-year-old prophet Nathan, and the Sisters of the Light. Most of the characters I find myself drawn to were those that came from the first and second novels. Unfortunately, by the time Temple of the Winds came out, I was already starting to lose interest. None of the next installations that followed — with Pillars of Creation being my biggest disappointment — are as intense as the first two, but by the time I had come to realize it, I had already wanted to see Richard’s ordeal finished. Chainfire and Phantom are the most cruel teases, as the author managed to dangle cliffhangers twice with these. Both had me waiting until the next year to find out what happens next: one year from Chainfire to Phantom and a year and a half for Confessor.

Confessor, however, managed to salvage what was left of my waning attention span. It has a weak beginning, though. The first half is filled with annoying talk. Every chapter discusses the same topic, except that they are discussed by different people. I found myself getting frustrated until Goodkind began describing how the sport Ja’La dh Jin (The Game of Life) gets violent and gruesome. Something about metal balls smashing into an opponent’s face got my blood pumping. That was the only time I actually began to get into it. The pace picks up halfway through, with twists and turns that would delight any Terry Goodkind fan or those that have awaited characters that hadn’t appeared since Blood of the Fold. The ending is satisfying and I couldn’t help but marvel at how every little detail — from the drop of an ink to the passages of a blank manual — work to get such an amazing conclusion.

If there’s one thing I’d like to commend Terry Goodkind for, it’s how he creates such impressive female characters. This attribute can be considered both good and bad. Good because they grip you so tightly, you almost feel like not letting go. Bad because Goodkind has a tendency to not write about some of his best characters for a very long time. While I’m not too impressed with Richard himself — being so “default” despite his very few shortcomings — the women are so gloriously flawed and powerful at the same time! Take Rachel, for example. I am not overly fond of kiddie heroines, but she is probably the first one to make my heart race with her misadventures. To name a few of my other favorites: Kahlan, Adie, Scarlet, Shota, Sister Nicci, Sister Verna and the Mord-Sith Cara. All female. All with traits that make you want to delve into their backgrounds far beyond what the series can offer.

I won’t exactly recommend Sword of Truth to conventional fantasy fans. Many tend to compare it with Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, Robert Jordan’s works, or other sagas like Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis’s Dragonlance. While Goodkind’s works, in fact, are under the fantasy genre, I noticed that he waxes philosophical. Sometimes overly so. His concepts aren’t exactly new to fantasy enthusiasts, but the way he tells it makes me feel like I could apply the Wizard’s Rules in real life.

If you want to know if the series is worth buying, all I could say is, “Get the first three books then the last three. Rent everything in between. Unless you plan to collect.”